Leeds United manager Sam Allardyce has to be a good conversationalist. Once in a while, he wows us all with some memorable quotes. If he is not claiming to be at least as good as Pep Guardiola and Jurgen Klopp, he is cracking us up with allegations about opportunities he is being denied. “If my name was Allardici, I would be a top four boss,” is a classic example of an off the cuff remark that doesn’t cut the ice in the cut throat world of professional football.
Going by that bar style banter, aptly referred to in local parlance as ’emboozi za malwa’, ninety percent of pros would get away with mediocrity on account of some birth misfortune. If being born in England is a disadvantage, what then could have been expected of poverty stricken Africans or South Americans who defy odds to reach the pinnacle of world football – the likes of Diego Armando Maradona, Pele or George Weah?
You’re either good or you’re not. You either deliver or you don’t. There is nothing in between. Just as Allardyce’s remarks about not being named Allardici ought to be dismissed with contempt, so should the citing of bad luck as an explanation of a players underwhelming performances. It’s against such a background that I am naming last summer’s signings to deliver the least value of money to their clubs.
Chelsea quintet Raheem Sterling, Pierre Emerick Aubameyang, Wesley Fofana, Kalidou Koulibaly and Marc Cucurella top this list. Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola is very adept at noticing players who’ve lost their passion for success. Sterling’s first season at Stamford Bridge explains why the Catalan coaching genius was ready to hawk off one of the club’s top scorers of all time. Pep identified an identical mindset in Joao Cancelo and sent him on loan to Bayern Munich at the first opportunity.
Arsenal gaffer Mikel Arteta saw almost the same trait in Aubameyang, hence his acrimonious departure from Emirates Stadium. Until the Gabon legend started lounging around the Stamford Bridge pitch, hadn’t realised why Arteta was so quick to cut his former captain loose. Cucurella is suffering under the spotlight partly because he is not a left back and is struggling with the adjustment in temperament needed to transition to a big club. The £60m Spaniard can best thrive as a wingback.
Koulibaly and Fofana have miserably failed to fill the boots vacated by Antonio Rudiger and Andreas Christensen when they swapped Stamford Bridge for Liga Santander giants Real Madrid and Barcelona.
Manchester City midfielder Kalvin Phillips was meanwhile exceptional for Leeds United but looks out of place at Etihad Stadium. A change of address is the best way forward if he is to revive his faltering career. AC Milan forward Charles de Kaetelere will perhaps need to exit the San Siro after failing to dislodge 36-year-old Olivier Giroud from the starting line up.
Paul Pogba has hardly had a kick since swapping Old Trafford for Juventus’ Allianz Arena. He could be forgiven on account of injuries that have blighted his reunion with Massimiliano Allegri, for whom he played some great football during his first spell in Turin but for the disparaging remarks he made about Manchester United once he decided to leave. He is joined on this list by former team mate Cristiano Ronaldo, who is hardly setting the Saudi Arabia pro league alight despite his astronomical wages. CR7 is not even the best player in the division and his club Al Nassr trail Al Ittihad by three points nine matches to the end of this campaign.